Before you are quick to affirm my choice of topic as being true or even a fact, I will like to ask you; who made you a judge of the fidelity and infidelity of all men on planet earth? That is one.

Secondly, have you in your lifetime dated all men or come across all men; unborn, living and dead, what is even your definition and explanation of that word called ‘cheating’?

Have your answers and responses in mind as I go through this concise piece with a little satire.

I got into an argument with a colleague while rounding off my masters program some 2 years ago where he said that men who play around as singles are more likely to be faithful in marriage and I disagreed with him that having experience of many women or exposure or being player can never guarantee faithfulness in marriage. My argument didn’t go to support the good guys either considering that people can always change or circumstances can lead to infidelity in relationships. My experienced friend even made a jest that it is people who are good as singles that will even sleep with their secretaries.

Funny right?

Believe me this is common sense, you are player as a single means you are not satisfied with just one partner, you want to explore, get bored of your partner, want to adventure, want varieties and all that. No need to continue since you already know reasons why all men supposedly cheat. Now this category of men who are singles are the bad guys and it is believed that ladies like the bad guys despite whatever they do, have done or are capable of doing in breaking hearts. Yes it all ends in that. He broke my heart thingy.

My first point, ladies encourage cheating in the society since they keep dating those ones that obviously and proudly can’t stick to one lady at a time. If you know this is the behavior of the bad boys why still say yes?

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I know what you are thinking. The good and godly ones are boring and not fun to be with. FALSE! Men of integrity I know have a rare sense of humor. You can quote me and I will show you men to back up my argument.

When you prove my hypothesis/argument you can now give that good guy a chance, maybe just maybe he may not cheat. *winks

The popular acceptance of cheating in our society is sleeping with another that is not your partner. In fact when a lady sees you with a lady in a bar, restaurant or in a room where the lady is a fellow tenant, you are already a cheat. Now let me ask you would you prefer to be with someone who gives you just good sex or someone who gives you emotional, spiritual and intellectual support and still can give good sex.

The answer is the latter for most people. Ladies have proved to be easily emotionally attached to the opposite sex though there are few exceptions when guys do too. You can sleep with someone today with no feelings or emotions attached and you both go your separate ways forever but when you get entangled emotionally to someone it takes hard work and a lot of time to get over such person.

So which is worse? A night stand of sex or many weeks, months and years of what I will call emotional cheating? Yes you heard right.

When you get to a point when you seek for such support (emotional) from another that is not your partner mehn… you are the greatest cheat. Why? Because it can take you completely away from your partner who gives you only sex without fulfilling other obligations of companionship, friendship, encouragement, care, affection, etc. The intangible show of love goes a long way.


So permit to say that for the ladies cheating is when a man sleeps with another woman and that can happen with no feelings attached while for the men cheating can be when their woman starts getting the support they are suppose to give from another man. Sex most times don’t lead to feelings or emotional attachment but feelings and emotions when built upon can lead to sex.

In conclusion, am not justifying cheating by men neither did I write this to prove that women cheat more, I would rather say that cheating in relationships is subjective to every individual and should not be gender-based in any way. Most importantly, a lover, wife or husband won’t cheat on you because of love alone but when the God factor is there, i.e. he fears and loves God he can then act like Joseph who knew God was watching and that it was a wrong to sleep with his master’s wife.

Is time you shift your focus of your choice of men and ladies too.






About Chukwuemeka Azubuike

Architect, Construction Manager, Writer, Blogger and a Blogger’s Writer

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