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QUEENS’ WAR


Thank you for stopping to actually witness this war that rages on in dynamic forms. In this piece I will be painting a picture for you. So let’s ride on…

I walk into this restaurant to get something to eat after a long day on site in the Federal University. As expected I sighted two good-looking ladies. (*emphasis on good-looking).

Lady A: Babe I no sure this food go make sense oo even though it is looking sumptuous.

Lady B: We can’t tell until we try it out. You can be right or wrong.

(*Picks cutlery but drops the knife and fork to use the spoon)

Lady A: Mehn I am so using my spoon to eat this, no time for cutlery effizy.

Lady B: You just read my mind. Hmmm mine is tasting nice oo (eating spaghetti)

Lady A: This food is rubbish babe (eating fried rice). Who asked me to order fried rice I am not used to.

Lady B: Hahahaha. If you are not used to it, it means you don’t know if it is nice or not now. (still laughing)

Lady A: And what’s that suppose to mean?

Lady B: Sorry, no vex (continues eating)

Lady A: Babe, babe see that girl walking in. Check out her shoes. Looking expensive.

Lady B: (turns a bit) Forget that thing oo. You can get that shoe in O.k.

Lady A: Really? Are you sure?

Lady B: yes now that’s what this other babe wears now. What’s her name sef. I don forget. I bet you they are not more than #3500. Forget the blinks. Those are not stones but okwute.

YOU WILL LIKE THIS   AN INFLATED EGO

Lady A: (laughing) But is like you are used to buying O.k oo. How you take sabi am well?

Lady B: (drops spoon). Please don’t insult me, I just told you I know someone who buys them. Doesn’t mean I do too.

Lady A: Hmmm ok oo. Check out her phones, that’s I phone 6x oo. Babe this geh na big girl oo.

Lady B: Either way it won’t be more than runs na- Federal University babe using I phone 6x? Who dash am?

Lady A: Okay. You might be right there though; but I dey feel the babe sha.

(RMD-like guy walks in)

Lady B: Wooooh. Mehn. That guy must come to me (walks to the counter pretending to go get something)

Lady A: Where you dey go?

Lady B: Chill am coming…

Please do you have Chi exotic, very chilled one. (addressing the saleswoman). Nice suits

Dude: Thanks lady. I like your hair too. Really class!

Lady B: Thanks dear (now bending her legs like she wants to fall and full-scale blushing)

Dude: I will pay for that

Lady B: Thanks love. (saleswoman passes it)

Dude: You are welcome (collects his bottle of wine and walks to meet the I-phone 6x babe).

Lady B: (now shocked and thinking, he didn’t even ask of my name after the dear and love. Walks to her seat)

Lady A: (now grinning sarcastically) How did it go?

Lady B: The fool didn’t even ask of my name, he just paid for the #250 drink and got a wine for himself and that stupid girl. He is not even fine sef. In fact he has body odour.

YOU WILL LIKE THIS   SHOULD WE OUTSOURCE NIGERIA?

Lady A: All the while you were blushing in front of him you didn’t  notice abi. Mscheeew. Abeg chop let’s leave here.

Lady B: You dey craze oo.

Lady A: Na you craze pass. You complain for the babe’s shoes, I-phone and now the guy you already stripped naked with your eyes.

Lady B: Worefa!

(continues eating, while the dude and the lady walk out as a couple would)

Lady B: (thinking so they are dating, why now?)

Lady A: Eat your food!

 

Might be continued in another war scene. Thanks for reading!

 

Greetings from Wukari, Taraba State.


About Chukwuemeka Azubuike

Architect, Construction Manager, Writer, Blogger and a Blogger’s Writer

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