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Asimi: My Prophecies for 2016


In 2015 our various news outlets were awash with different prophecies.

“Nigeria will divide!”
“There will be fighting, but Nigeria will not divide”
“God told me Goodluck Jonathan will win the election”
“The 2015 presidential election will be inconclusive”
“Buhari will win the election”
“There will be bloodshed and International peace keepers will come to help Nigeria”.

Each prophet struggled to be heard and prophecy was turned into a commodity that could be gotten outside the spiritual realm. ‘Prophets’ became spokesmen of different political parties and politicians. Each was eager to reach his target audience with these prophecies. These prophets were so cheap that they could be recruited with very little stress. In fact, just be prominent and you will see prophets voluntarily prophesying for you. And once you give them some coins, Yorubas will say ‘o ti pari’. They won’t mind preaching you as their sermon for the rest of their services before your election. So was the sorry state of the lucrative ‘prophetic industry’. And mind you it wasn’t just the prophets, but Nigerians were also eagerly anticipating these prophecies the way they anticipated the ministerial list. Some media platforms even forecast prophecies for certain prophets. That was how bad some men serving the god of money had gone thinking they were men of God. But thank God who proved himself.

Amazingly, in 2016, the million dollar prophetic industry is nowhere to be found. I tried to be in the know of these prophecies, but it seems these prophets have all gone ‘low key’ so as to salvage what is left of their shattered reputation. But like the saying goes ‘soldier go, soldier come, barrack remain’, we can’t just let that industry die because of change as that will lead to unemployment. To that effect, I have anointed myself a ‘prophet’ and I will hereby ‘prophesy’’ for the year 2016.

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The Corruption Fight
Nigerians should expect more individuals to be called for questioning. We have been told Olisa Metuh has been ‘friendly invited’ by the EFCC to answer some question. We should anticipate scenes like that. Nigerians should believe any news from Sahara reporters as they will be the media arm of the EFCC. Sources say the EFCC has a small budget and as such, they won’t be able to bear the cost of giving live updates on their own. They have outsourced that department to Sahara reporters. Sahara reporters are doing a fine job at least in the eyes of the change agents even though the transformation agents will beg to differ.

Nigerians should also brace up and expect to see sick people in the courts facing charges of money laundering and other related matters. In fact, a supplementary budget should be sent to the National Assembly which will allow the judiciary to carter for scenes like ambulance, wheelchairs and oxygen being fed to patients as they listen to charges laid against them. These scenes shouldn’t surprise Nigerians. A friend even dreamt of seeing coffins within court premises as these individuals in them were said to be 2 seconds from death. That is his dream and not my prophecies though. But don’t be surprised if it happens because every living and semi dead who ate “Yam” will have to account for it.

Economy
With the US and Iran venturing into the markets to sell crude, the oil glut will still remain for a while and not even the Saudi/Iranian diplomatic tensions can bring it down. They will need a serious war which they both don’t have the appetite for. So Nigerians should expect to still face some economic hardship as the diversification process will still take some time.

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Social Media

This one will be tricky, but please follow attentively. If you want peace, don’t fight social media and don’t fight on social media. For the first category, the experience of a certain Senator from North-Western Nigeria will help shape your opinion. He was just joking with the social media by making a move similar to that of North Korea’s leader and the ever active social media users armed with their hashtags were up against him. Some even wanted to probe his wardrobe allowance insisting that the senator doesn’t dress well. Even though his colleagues liked the joke, he received the bashing alone as some swore to the heavens that the never supported him in the red chamber even though they know it was a joke. One more thing, please don’t be quick to take sides with celebrities on social media. You will look foolish because even Don Jazzy and Olamide have already settled.

Sports

Our athletes will perform beautifully well this year, but the thing is they should learn to be patriotic as they would no longer be receiving houses, lands or millions. They should even be happy if they receive their pay on time. It is the time of “Change dole”.
And for those who gamble, please bet more on Chelsea. I see them losing more games in 2016. Don’t bet against Arsenal because you will lose.

I will be here with you every Saturday. But my status as a prophet ends today so don’t quote me after today. To reach me for your blessings, follow me on twitter @SamDOptimist

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 


About Asimi Samuel O.

@SamDoptimist
CEO & Co-founder Young People for African Development (YPAD)

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